J.C. LEYENDECKER
Fall Fox Hunting
Oil on Canvas
[dog: (whines impatiently oddly kind of horse-sounding]
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[dog: (whines impatiently oddly kind of horse-sounding]
this dragon has just found what appears to be a snoopy doll in its nest and is gravely offended by this rude facsimile of itself
90% of horse movies
- girl: *finds horse who is impaired in some way*
- girl: dad can I keep it
- dad: no there's no hope for it let's go
- girl: dad u idiot u don't get me
- girl: *visits horse in middle of the night*
- *cuts to girl riding the horse in an open field bc she is free and her dad can't control her*
- dad: how dare u
- girl: just let me prove to u this horse is special
- girl: *enters race*
- girl: *wins*
- dad: u make me so proud
- horse: *whinnies*
THE LEGENDARY STORY OF THE TROJAN HORSE DOES NOT INVOLVE THE GREEKS GIVING THE HORSE TO THE TROJANS AS A GIFT. THE GREEKS’ DECEPTION WAS ACTUALLY THAT THEY LEFT THE HORSE AS AN OFFERING TO THE GODDESS ATHENA.
IN THE LEGEND, THEY BASICALLY SENT SOMEONE TO TROY TO SAY “THIS HORSE IS FOR ATHENA, NOT YOU, SO OUR RETREAT BACK TO GREECE IS SAFE. DON’T TRY TO TAKE IT. IT WON’T FIT THROUGH THE GATES OF YOUR CITY, SO THERE’S NO WAY YOU DICKS CAN STEAL IT AND PRETEND YOU GOT IT FOR ATHENA. NOT FOR TROJANS.”
AND THEN TROY WAS LIKE “YOU’RE NOT OUR DAD. WE WON THIS WAR AND WE’RE TAKING YOUR STUPID HORSE AS A TROPHY SO WE’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW BAD GREECE IS AT DESTROYING TROY.”
AND A FEW TROJANS WERE LIKE “THIS IS A TRICK” AND TRIED TO EXPOSE IT AS A TRICK BUT THE REST OF THE TROJANS WOULD HAVE NONE OF IT BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS SWEPT UP IN THE THRILL OF VICTORY, AND ALSO BECAUSE THE GODS KEPT SENDING SNAKES TO STRANGLE ANYONE WHO SAID ANYTHING, BECAUSE THE GREEK GODS HAD NO WORD FOR “SUBTLETY”
THEN AT NIGHT ALL THE GREEKS JUMPED OUT OF THE HORSE LIKE “WE TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE THE HORSE, WHY ARE YOU SUCH PRIDEFUL DICKS” AND BURNED DOWN THE WHOLE CITY
This makes a lot more sense
the high horse analogy just doesnt resonate w me i dont understand why i should want to get off my high horse my horse is so tall, he is enormous and titanically powerful, he will stamp on my dissidents and scatter them like cockroaches, its a good place for me to be strategically
judgmental farmer: why the heck did ya name yer dang horse Mayo, son?
my horse Mayo: *neighs*
What the fuck?
well pardner, I named my horse Mayo because horses are inclined to neigh, and “Mayo neighs” sounds like “mayonnaise” which is my favorite condiment. this kind of complex humor is hard work but so is farmin’, and I get a good chuckle out of it. that’s just the kinda farmer I am
I love you